"I am very thankful to see you again..."
This is the story that I wanted to blog last Tuesday, before it will be taken out from my mind.
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My Mom and I went home in our province. I saw him standing, his face... full of excitement, he was teary eyed staring at me and my Mom that man.. that is my Father, my Tatay, my Papa.
I remember, I was sitting beside him, touching his face while having his arms surrounding me. I was looking in his face and avoiding to keep my eyes out of him because I'm afraid to loose him, I talked to him, saying, "Tay mahal na mahal kita... Mahal na mahal kita.."
After that, a sudden change of situation happened, This time, I have to say goodbye to him, he was lying in bed, dying.That moment is the same of what happened 8 years ago when he was gone, but this time I told him I love him many times until his last breath. I don't know why this dream is always happening, all of my past dreams about him, I'm always at that moment, that he was saying goodbye to me? Why?? I still don't have any answer.
This time I can't explain my happiness to see him. I can't explain the feeling, that moment? it seems like his presence is very present, but my heart knows the truth, the truth that I am not going to see him for real, My heart knows that it is just a dream.
I missed my father so much.. I miss him sooo much :(
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